like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Randomize
