Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We just shotgunned beers for America
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
