but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She bit a glass in half.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
