normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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