if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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