i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
