So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
