god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
