There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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