Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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