and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
