hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
