he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
