I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I need to stop coming to work sober
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
