In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
