I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize