I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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