I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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