plz talk dirty to me
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
