Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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