I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize