I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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