Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
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