I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
