You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
