Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
