i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
