She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
