Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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