I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize