The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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