To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
