i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
