Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
