Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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