I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
