You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
