Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
