He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
