stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize