Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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