I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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