my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The best revenge is premature balding
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
