Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize