Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
