You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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