I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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