All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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