She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just want to make out with him forever
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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