and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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