i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
