Taylor Swift is so right about you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
