Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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