Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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