Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
