I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
