turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
