man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
