Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
