"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
