So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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