Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
