She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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