you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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